I was sitting in a restaurant, had a book on the table, a menu plus my phone. FYI – I make it a habit not to use my phone for the internet because I like big screens which is not facilitated by the phone. Okay, that reason is the grown up reason, the real reason is that I fear to start something that maybe difficult to stop. I may spend my nights googling up any and everything if I make a habit of using the phone for that purpose. Does that mean I do not? NO. I know you may think I am a coward or indiscipline but at least I am honest with myself. Instead of finding out how strong I am, I run from the temptation. I have learnt that running and fleeing if the situation calls for it are the best ways to deal with this sugar-coated temptation of misuse of precious God given time or even resources. Even with my advocacy for the use of technology and saving the trees, I love with all my heart to get a handwritten letter or sms instead of chat message on facebook or skype or a tweet on twitter. I still want a simple text message and a letter going through the post office.

Well, back to my story. I was sitting in this restaurant during lunch and I was hit with a new revelation. I can have a date with someone without being in the same place with me. Wait before you start judging me. I have it all worked out in my mind. You see, I spent the whole lunch time eating and texting while I laughed out loud all alone. People must have wondered what had happened to me. I was supposed to meet someone who didn’t show and instead of the usual anger, I was filled with joy as I had a conversation with a friend the way I want it. I realized that if your love language is words of affirmation and you really do not understand the reason for quality time in terms of people being in the same room, this mode of dating would work for you. You choose a time and a place. The other person goes to a restaurant and you also go to a restaurant. You both text to say you have arrived safely, after that you ask for the menu. You then text the options and decide together what food would be good for this date. You order for the food, drinks and start your conversation. Before you wonder why you are not using the internet, well you can but the internet may look like work. I know, you are probably feeling sorry for the person that takes me out on dates. Well, this is me trying to engage my mind and make a relationship work regardless of the distance. With the whole thing of who pays for the bill and things like that, you have it sorted since you are not in the same restaurant (Okay, I had forgotten the MPESA option) but it may give some satisfaction and save some judgement.

Well, I am learning to make do with what is before me. Sometimes we are in a hurry to buy gadgets we can’t afford or don’t really need for all sorts of reasons minus the important ones. We want to have the latest Samsung phone (I want) or latest I PAD or whatever it is. If you can not afford it, everyday texting is not bad at all. It could even mean that you have money to put airtime instead of using free wireless for the date and that is what I call class :=)

What is my point? This is random me thinking about random ways to love and be loved without more pressure than there is already. You can make it work with all or no gadgets at all.

One day when I am long gone, this form of dating will be looked at in awe. If we keep going the way we are, people will desire to just be able to text each other over the meal in different continents.


Is God really saying NO?

So, I am in year 6 of similar prayer requests. I know someone may say it is not God’s will but I have read about them in the word of the Lord. I know that some of these things I am praying for have a close link to the name of the Lord being glorified which removes the notion of them not being God’s will. One may say that these good and perfect gifts are not for me but I am wondering why? If this is the same God that says He will love me with an everlasting love, then why would He not give me this good and perfect gifts?

Okay, I know they are gifts meaning He has a right to give them to me or not. This reason I accept. I also believe that the Lord may desire to glorify Himself in the fact that I lack what I am asking.

However, it just hit me. Those are not the only reasons.

So, the Bible says that the Lord disciplines those that He loves. If you like me, you may have wanted a list of this discipline. I keep thinking they can be found in Deuteronomy 28 but people have a number of schools of thought. They have been some agreements pointing to the fact that we may not be able to tell if we have been disciplined by the Lord because life is full of valleys and mountains but I think I am starting to understand a few things.

God has seen vices and habits in me that if they are not dealt with will destroy me. He is not saying NO to my requests, He is saying GROW UP. Many times I am thinking of God the way I think of my earthly father. My daddy would discipline me in ways that would bring pain which would either mean physical pain or withdrawal of a desired or good thing but my question is; IS THAT THE GOD I SERVE? Would God withdraw good things from me as punishment or would I in the long run face consequences of the bad decisions and the indiscipline I have in my life?

So, when am asking God, is it like the prodigal son asking for all the foreseen wealth from the father before he is old enough to understand the responsibility behind the request?

Well, I do not know if this answers the lingering question about God’s discipline but I know it answers a question I have had all along and here it goes; ‘God, if you give us the desires of our heart, if it is You that gives all good and perfect gifts, why aren’t these particular desires and gifts coming along?’ and I believe the Lord is telling me ‘MY DAUGHTER, YOU ARE STILL GROWING UP AND WHEN YOU ARE READY – IT WILL ALL BE YOURS’

I don’t know what this means to you. However, I know that I am waiting patiently for ALL GOOD AND PERFECT GIFTS ARE FROM GOD.